


A song only you can hear

by GinDiva



Category: Holby City
Genre: Alternate Universe, Berena Appreciation Week, Berena Appreciation Week 2018, Blindfolds, Dom/sub, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff, Light Bondage, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, Uniform Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-08-19
Packaged: 2019-06-26 21:50:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15671991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GinDiva/pseuds/GinDiva
Summary: A home for my fics for this year's Berena Appreciation Week.Title comes from a quote from Oscar Wilde.





	1. A Parade New World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a follow up a previous fic but can read as a standalone.
> 
> This first offering takes place during the London Pride Parade 2018 and is a big pile of fluff.

Serena had never been to a Pride parade in her life. And, well, if she was a Pride virgin before, this had well and truly popped that particular cherry. Riding around the streets of London on an open top bus with Bernie was a very public way to do it. Before Bernie smashed her way into her life, Serena’s sexuality had always been a private matter, she’d had discreet affairs with both men and women for many years and none of them made it to even the most switched on of gossip-mongers’ ears.

The very public kiss between ex tennis pro turned coach; Bernie Wolfe and Serena Campbell; the mother of British tennis darling, Elinor Campbell, in the players’ box at Wimbledon of all places had certainly changed all that. The photographs, of which there were numerous it must be said, graced the back-pages of all of the national tabloids and even a fair few broadsheets and knocked the photo of a triumphant Jelena holding the Rosewater bowl down to a small insert underneath. Do a Google search of her name and that picture would be the first thing that appeared, closely followed by video clips that the BBC had so kindly captured. Publications, both lesbian and mainstream, were tripping over themselves to interview the hottest new lesbian power couple.  Together they had graced the sofas of Lorraine, Loose Women and BBC Breakfast to name just a few. Bernie, ever the professional, tried to keep questions limited to her tennis proteges and her coaching skills however Serena was only too willing to talk at length about their relationship. Bernie would relish teasing her about how much she embellished their whirlwind romance but secretly she loved how proud Serena was of their relationship and how happy she was to brag to all and sundry. 

Serena’s twitter followers continued to grow by the day. Thousands of (mostly) women inundated her with ever more salacious suggestions and while some she muted, she did get a secret thrill from sharing the more detailed with Bernie, watching her jealousy flare up and enjoying the various ways in which Bernie ensured she gave Serena no cause to look elsewhere.   
It was still a shock almost a year on to find their relationship was still a public interest story, at least to the great swathes of women and men milling around the bus calling out their names, waving and generally having rollicking good fun by all accounts.

Serena may have been new to this but it did lead her to wonder why she hadn’t joined in years ago. Right here, right now, Serena understood why Bernie came each year, why this was so important to her. This was a culmination of 45 years of change. What started as a march to remember Stonewall had come full circle to become the vibrant, all-inclusive party atmosphere that it was today. 

The procession of floats and buses, mostly corporate sponsored it must be said, filled to the brim with joyful revellers only too proud to proclaim their affiliation to the LGBTQ+ community whether as part of it or as an ally. Serena had even spotted more than a few celebrities amongst those in the throngs of people. She nudged Bernie to point them out, but her partner was too engrossed in waving cheerfully to the ecstatic crowds to be interested. This was a Bernie she had never seen before. A relaxed, happy, carefree Bernie, so different from the stern, serious tennis coach or the passionate but gentle woman she was at home. She was almost childlike, the wind whipping her unruly curls into an even more bedraggled state, her smile beaming, eyes crinkled, watering slightly as the fierce wind bit against them.

Bernie must have caught her staring as a slight quirk of her head in question broke the spell. Serena turned away, as a slight sob of emotion caught at her throat, instead she averted her gaze to take in the spectacle around her. It was like a carnival of colour, riots of pinks, purples, blues, greens, reds and yellows making the otherwise drab grey of the London buildings a vibrant hue. The sheer number of different flags waving in multitude of colours, most of which she had never seen before today.

“Bernie, why are there so many different flags? What are they all for?” Serena’s question directed more to Bernie’s shoes as she could still not bring her gaze to catch her eye just yet. 

Bernie hummed thoughtfully for a moment before she replied. “Each flag represents a different group within the LGBTQ+ community.”

“But there are so many, I naively thought it was the original rainbow flag.”

“Well that covers everyone, but there are also specific ones, I guess they are designed to help everyone feel included. Even within a minority group there is still discord about what is and is not part of LGBTQ+.”

“Even these days?”

“Especially these days.”

“Which flag represents you exactly?”

“I don’t know. All of them, none of them. For me it doesn’t matter. I am just me. I am proud to be here and be who I am, proud to stand here beside the most gorgeous woman in London. I don’t need anything more.” Bernie’s arm snaked around Serena’s waist as she spoke pulling her even closer than before. Serena chanced a glance up and the same swirly whirliness from earlier fluttered in her stomach as she did.

Bernie lifted her hand and stroked the back of her palm against Serena’s flushed cheek. It did nothing to help her lightheadedness at all. She let her head fall to the side and rest against Bernie’s upper arm. Bernie, in return, tilted her head in perfect synchronicity to rest against the crown of Serena’s. The casual observer would be left in no doubt that this pair were a couple. Despite this, one women clearly still fancied her chances as a pair of lacy knickers came flying through the air, catching Bernie clean on the nose.

Bernie looked slightly nonplussed by the unexpected intrusion. Serena couldn’t help but laugh if only at the look on Bernie’s face but she duly peeled them off and dropped them to the tarmac once more. She turned back to the group from which they seemed to originate and shouted out “Thank you but she’s taken”. Although it had been directed to no-one in particular, Serena did see quite a few smiles falter slightly at her words. Which one of those the owner of the delicate garment was, neither Serena nor Bernie knew.

“Honestly, the cheek of it! Making a pass at my woman.” Serena snorted in mock indignation. 

Bernie leaned her face into to whisper into Serena’s ear. “I think they were meant for you, darling.”

“Well in that case, I want them back.” Serena teased, turning as if to chase after the discarded panties. Bernie encircled her retreating partner in a tight embrace.

“Don’t even think about. You are for my delectation only.” Bernie bent and nipped lightly at the exposed skin at the nape of Serena’s neck.

“Marking your territory, Ms. Wolfe?”

“You better believe it, Ms. Campbell.” Bernie suddenly twirled her round in her arms with a surprising nimbleness before she leant in to kiss her gently. Well that was her intent but as Serena deepened it a chorus of cheers, whistles and catcalls erupted from street level to break them apart.

“I do hope we are not back-page news this year.” Serena murmured breathlessly against Bernie’s cheek.

“I thought you liked the attention?” Bernie’s voice was full of rich, husky notes which Serena recognised as her burgeoning arousal.

Serena could feel her own desire start to burn in response, her voice dipping down to a sultry tone. “I do, but I don’t like sharing you with those eager young women either.”

“It’s a good job that I am yours then, just yours, Serena Wendy Campbell, now and for eternity, if you’ll have me that is.” 

The sporadic fluttering suddenly became a whole butterfly sanctuary that danced joyfully in her stomach. “I think I would rather like that.” Bernie’s smile suddenly lit up and she leant down to capture Serena’s lips. Not for the first time both forgetting for a moment where they were.  

“I thought you didn’t want to be news darling?” Serena replied, panting for air.

“We’re on an open-top bus festooned in rainbow bunting surrounded by crowds of people. The least we can do is give them a good show!” With that Bernie clasped her hand and twirled her around, catching her behind her waist and dipped her. Indeed she kissed her so thoroughly that Serena’s knees gave way and she nearly fell backwards over the bus railing. Luckily Bernie was there to ground her once more, just as she had been for the past year, as she hoped she always would be. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fic it came from was a Hold to Love. I hope you enjoyed this little addendum.


	2. A twisted branch of the family tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie's annual family gathering in Cumbria is fast approaching, but why doesn't she want Serena to come?
> 
> Serena doesn't know but she plans to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Family carnage, shiraz and humour included.
> 
> Rating changed for language included in this chapter.

Serena did not know why Bernie spent the entire week trying to convince her not to come. Her partner produced a volley of the most plausible reasons; the weather in the Lakes was awful at this time of year; they would be on a farm, had Serena forgotten her dislike of cattle? The journey would be very long and uncomfortable in Bernie’s car; Serena wouldn’t know anyone; Bernie’s cousins could be a bit wild when they got a few drinks in them.

  
On a normal day, any one of these might well have convinced Serena to send Bernie off for the reunion alone, if it hadn’t been for Cam. His rather insightful, if accidental, quip about Bernie feigning some contagious illness to stop Serena joining the annual family gathering more than piqued her interest. In point of fact, she was now positively itching to find out why and really rather enjoying watching Bernie’s ever more outrageous efforts. Bernie pulled out her last, desperate trump card “They might not have any Shiraz” but even that was not going to stop the determined Ms Campbell; “We’ll take my car - big enough boot for our bags and a couple of cases of decent red”. This final rebuff broke Bernie’s resistance and with a hefty sigh of resignation she buckled to Serena’s will.   
  
Bernie seemed almost her old self as they navigated their way up the length of the M5, circumvented Birmingham and popped out onto the M6. They stopped earlier at some services just south of Birmingham and Serena had a sudden vision that Bernie might just take off without her. Such fears proving unfounded as even heroic army vets are not brave enough to risk the wrath of Serena in such a way. 

The closer they got to Cumbria, the more Bernie seemed to change. First it was the tightening of her jaw as they passed through Staffordshire. Then at Lancaster, the long, slender fingers which had previously been engaged with tracing idle patterns on Serena’s thigh started to drum against the steering wheel. 

Bernie’s agitation was contagious. Serena’s was still completely clueless as to why Bernie was reluctant for her to come, but her tense profile set Serena’s nerves on edge with the uncertainty. However, as she discovered through many missteps of the past, it was best not to push these things too fast, no-one wanted another Kiev on their hands after all. So Serena stayed silent and prayed that the storm brewing under Bernie’s taut features would pass without incident.   
  
Instead Serena gazed out of the window at the landscape rushing past, the hills getting greener and greener with every passing mile. Before long Bernie slowed the car and exited the motorway, taking the slip road left towards the Western Lakes. Serena was only vaguely aware of where they were heading, some farm in the middle of Cumbria was as much as Bernie deigned to provide. As the car rumbled along a bumpy dirt track her mind conjured images of sleeping in a tatty old barn that smelled of cows. While this would not be her idea of a pleasant weekend, she reassured herself that if she was with Bernie that would be enough for her. 

Finally, after a bone-shaking few miles that made Serena eternally grateful for their decision to bring her car with its infinitely better suspension, they turned down a well-laid driveway. It wound its way past dozens of beautifully tended fields bookended by immaculate dry stone walls before arriving at the biggest, grandest farmhouse she had ever seen. She was still sat stock still, mouth agape, in the passenger seat when Bernie bolted out of the driver’s side and rushed towards the doors to announce their arrival. She was too late it would seem as before she even got close a flood of people burst through a large oak doorway and engulfed her. Where Bernie once stood there was now a sea of checked shirts and a dizzying array of tweed blazers. From her seat in the car, Serena could hear them calling her name and teasing her, Bernie barely able to get a word edgeways amongst the throng of her cousins, aunts and uncles. 

Her nervous glances back over her shoulder towards the car stirred Serena from her daze. Her partner was worried and Serena was being no help to her still sat in the passenger seat. As she thumped the car door closed, everyone’s head turned and their mouths fell open.

“Well that is  _not_ Cam.” One of the younger cousins commented.

“Not without some fairly major surgery.” Another one joked, earning himself a sharp dig in the ribs from more than one of the others stood close by.

“When I said there would be two of us I never said it was Cam coming with me. This is my partner.” The curious gazes turned to beaming smiles. “This is Serena.” The beaming smiles became a chorus of oohs and aahs. Serena was the one left with the curious look, slightly uncertain what to make of their collective reaction.

Before she could dwell too much a woman stepped forward. Pretty in her own way. Mousy brown hair, slightly wavy like Bernie’s but tied back in a ponytail.

“Hi I’m Sophie, Bernie’s cousin. Her mother was my aunt.” She held out her hand which Serena duly grasped before the woman pulled her into a bone-crushing hug. “Come on, let’s get you settled in.”

One of the big burly cousins picked up their bags at Sophie’s behest and they trailed through the rabbit warren that was the main house. Finally, they reached a bedroom at the end of a long corridor. It was a beautiful room full of light, airy pinks and purples.

“I’m sorry if the bed is a bit small for you and Bernie. If we had known she was coming with you, we would have assigned you to one of the larger ones. This does have the best bathroom though.”

Serena glanced at the double bed which didn’t look much smaller than hers at home. “You should see an on-call bed if you think this is small. We’ve managed to fit into those in the past well enough.” Serena winked. Sophie blinked for a moment before a full, deep laugh burst out. It sounded so like Bernie’s rich tones that it caused Serena to study her for a moment. The shape of Sophie’s mouth suddenly so like Bernie’s, her eyes crinkling the way Bernie’s do when she smiles. How had she not seen the resemblance before?   
  


Serena could dwell on it no further as the arrival of her partner was heralded by the slamming of the bedroom door. Sophie very wisely took her leave and left them to it before she got caught in the sights of her eldest cousin’s foul temper.

“This bloody room is miles away from the rest of the house. Why in blazes has Sophie put us in here?” She threw her duffel bag on the bed and started to dig her clothes out from its depths and launch them haphazardly across the room.

“Sophie says it has the best bathroom.”

“Its bloody big is what it is, means it’ll be freezing in there tomorrow. And look at this bed, it’s tiny.”

“We’ve slept in far worse Bernie and you know it. I thought you were a tough army Major? Are you not used to bunking down anywhere?” Serena planted her hands on her hips in defiance.

“Oh, suddenly Sophie’s biggest fan are you? What were you two laughing about anyway? I could hear you down the hallway.” Bernie’s eyes were narrow and suspicious.

“Nothing Bernie. Just on-call stories.” Serena swung away, suddenly wanted to stop having this conversation.

“Sounded like you were getting very cosy in here.” Her tone dripping with jealousy.

“We were just talking Bernie. I thought you would like me to make an effort. Apparently you just want to shout at me though.” Serena moved across to the large window, the sight of Bernie making her temper flare. 

On pushing back the drapes she discovered that their room was indeed farthest away, so far it was in the middle of a field. With cows. Lots of cows. Serena had never liked cows since a particularly disturbing encounter with one a few years back. Now she was surrounded by them with a stubborn army medic between her and the door.

“Christ. I wish I hadn’t come now. It's a bloody long way to be stuck here with you in a bad mood and surrounded by bloody cows of all things.”

“I didn’t ask you to come and if I recall I warned you about the cows and you  _still_ insisted.” Bernie’s anger had abated but her “I told you so" attitude was not much better.

“I don’t want to hear this Bernie. I know you didn’t want me to come, that you are clearly ashamed of me. Well now both of us can share your regret.” Serena stomped towards the door.

“Where are you going?” Bernie called after her.

“To find Sophie. Perhaps she can put me into Cam’s room. It might be for the best.” Serena stormed off, if Bernie did reply it was lost to her. The blood pumping furiously in her ears had deafened her to everything but her anger.

Serena couldn’t find Sophie. The house was just so bloody big. Now she was totally lost. Tears of frustration prickled at her eyes as the ridiculousness of it all crashed down on her. 

Bernie had been right all along, maybe she should not have come, it would not be a mistake she would make twice. Serena Campbell and the great outdoors, even the great indoors it would seem, are never going to get along.

Stumbling blindly towards what she hoped was the front of the house, she barrelled straight into Sophie. It didn’t take much for her to realise that Bernie and Serena had fought. Serena’s red ringed eyes and anguished behaviour gave it all away. 

Slinging her arm around Serena’s shoulders, Sophie led her down a short passageway that led to the kitchen.

“Fancy a cup of tea?”

“Don’t suppose you have a vat of Shiraz handy?”

“Funny you should mention that.” Sophie linked her arm through Serena’s and guided her through yet another door, down some steep stone steps and into the largest room yet. It was stacked floor to ceiling in racks. Each one bearing a wine bottle. One side was white, other red, with sparkling and rosé in between. Sophie had wandered over to the reds and was scouring the bottles carefully.

“Here you go. Shiraz is this section here.” Sophie waved her arm across what must be at least 50 bottles of wine.

“No Shiraz indeed.”

“Sorry, I don’t understand.”

“Bernie, in one of her many attempts to dissuade me from coming here, told me you might not have any Shiraz.”

“Ah. That might be our fault. Come on let’s grab some of these and I’ll try to explain.”

Serena sipped her wine as she listened to Sophie. Listened to her explain how after the mess with Marcus, Bernie escaped up to Cumbria and joined her cousins. That Bernie, unbeknownst to her, spent the whole time talking about Serena. Talking about how fantastic she had been, how supportive, how kind. It was clear to everyone that she was crazy about Serena. It was only Bernie who was totally oblivious to it.

That was until Joey, the youngest and apparently most irresponsible cousin, decided to enlighten her in the most unsubtle way.

He started singing “Bernie and Serena sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g.” Poor Bernie went puce and walked out. 

“He was only larking about but we obviously had no idea at the time- I mean she has never willingly talked about anyone before, not even Marcus, so maybe we should have realised.” Sophie explained.

Serena’s brow furrowed. “Realised? Realised what?”

“Well she was in love. Probably for the first time in her life. Truly, blindly in love. In love with you.”

“I best go find her hadn’t I?” Serena conceded. Sophie was kind enough to just smile politely and nod.

“Now if only I could find my way around this house.”

 

It had not been too difficult to find Bernie in the end. Serena had followed the sound of chatter to find the cousins out playing a very drunken game of beer cricket. 

Bernie was not with them however, she was stood nearby, leaning against their car, anxiously scuffing her shoes against the dusty ground. She had fully expected Serena to pack up and leave after their earlier row.

She looked apprehensive as Serena marched straight over to her. “I’m sorr…” Bernie’s apology cut off by the crashing of Serena’s lips to hers.

When they pulled apart Bernie looked confused, she always knew to expect the unexpected with Serena but she had no idea what happened to change her mind.

“Sophie told me what happened after Marcus found out about Alex. When you came up here.” Serena offered by way of explanation.

“Ah.” Bernie went back to scuffing the dirt with her shoe.

“You have nothing to be ashamed of, Bernie.” Serena soothed.

“I was made to look a total fool. I was in love with you, my straight best friend, and I had no idea. My stupid, childish cousins knew and I didn’t.”

“What does it matter? We got there in the end.”

“Yes but… I don’t know. It made me scared. I thought if they could see then maybe everyone could. Then Cam showed up and he could see it and before I knew it you were saying you were falling in love with me and well it all snowballed and well I…”

“You ran away.” Serena stated as bluntly as she could. She still wouldn’t countenance the word Kiev on her lips. Bernie nodded. “That is all in the past now. We’ve both made mistakes. Being with you is not one of mine though.”

“And you are not one of mine.”

“So does this mean we have kissed and made up?” Serena asked hopefully half eyeing the full glass of Shiraz she still carried.

“Well we’ve made up.” Bernie spun Serena round and pressed her against the bonnet of the car, covering Serena’s body with her own and kissed her. Kissed her like she always had, the love, the tenderness and care flowing out with every touch of their lips.   
  
In the background the cousins had stopped their cricket game, now they could hear a loud, drunken chorus of “Bernie and Serena sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Bernie with a baby carriage.” Serena and Bernie’s laughter broke their lips apart. “They need to grow up.” Bernie remarked lightly as she leaned in to press another gentle kiss to Serena’s lips. 

“Baby’s carriage? Not without a donor.” Shouted one cousin to peals of drunken laughter.

“Nevermind a donor, she’ll need a fucking time machine.” Shouted Joey across the lawns. With that Bernie left Serena half sprawled across the car and was off chasing after her youngest cousin. Serena could only admire as her long limbs ate up the ground between them in no time. 

“I might be old Joseph Wolfe but I am still big enough to kick your puny arse into next week.”

Serena watched contentedly as Bernie rugby tackled Joey to the turf putting him into a rather painful looking headlock. She took another sip of the truly majestic Shiraz and leaned back letting their laughter wash over her. Perhaps she had been wrong, perhaps she might enjoy the countryside after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the time machine nod. Inspired by Kayryn's Doctor Who manip.
> 
> Serena's fear of cows comes from a fic I wrote last year with a deranged herd disturbing some outdoor romance.


	3. A million words would not bring you back, I know because I've tried

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie Wolfe has never stayed in one place very long. Her schools change as often as her socks. Why should St. Winifred's be any different? Bernie hadn't counted on Serena McKinnie breezing into her life.
> 
> When they met again after so many years apart, will that attraction still be there and will it end differently second time around?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all those who keep reading and participating in BAW 2018. It great to have so much new work appearing.
> 
> Title from this quote by Anon  
> "A million words would not bring you back, I know because I've tried. Neither would a million tears, I know because I've cried."

Bernie Wolfe was a late joiner to St. Winifred’s girls school. Her parents had only moved to Holby recently when her father had finished his last posting in Germany. Bernie was well used to the routine now. She had moved from place to place, school to school, her whole life. This time, this school would be no different.

Throughout her early life Bernie came to realise that she didn’t really need friends. She certainly didn’t make any effort to forge friendships. What was the point? You put in all that effort for what? To move country and move school in 2 or 3 months time. Despite this, she was not an unpopular girl. Her natural athleticism drew people to her. She captained the football, hockey and netball teams in previous schools. This school would be no different.

Bernie took her classes seriously. Not as seriously as some, not as casually as others. She was gifted, if prone to ignore the accepted wisdom and find her own way to succeed. This made her a challenge to teach, as she would more often than not completely disregard the work set and just do her own assignment they way she felt it should be done. As a result, her classmates largely shunned her. Who wanted to be paired up with the girl who refused to follow the script? Bernie was well used to working on her own by now, taking the praise or taking the criticism her style invoked alone. No one ever wanted to be her partner in class before. This school, these classmates would be no different.

Bernie had always admired women more than men. Not the simpering females who laughed girlishly everytime a boy would so much as speak, the real women. The tough, strong women who had to fight tooth and nail to even have the same opportunities as their male classmates, their male colleagues. These were the women she admired. She told herself that she admired their strength, that their beauty came from that strength. That she would eventually find a man to love who would evoke the same passion in her that these strong females did. In every school there had been one woman she had admired more than the others, one who caught her eye. This school would be no different. This woman would be no different.

 

Then in strode Serena McKinnie.

Serena McKinnie, Head Girl. Serena McKinnie, Sports Captain. Serena McKinnie, lab partner. Why did it have to be Serena McKinnie who caught her eye? Why did Serena McKinnie have to be different?

 

At first she had thought it was just Serena’s natural curiosity that drew her to Bernie’s side. That it was her need to understand everything like a science experiment, Bernie included, that made her pick Bernie as her lab partner. That it was her role as sports captain that made her appear on the sidelines at every game which Bernie played in. That it was only Bernie who had fevered dreams of Serena McKinnie.

That was until Serena McKinnie kissed her.

They were only working on a project. Okay it was late. Maybe she had just been tired. Perhaps it was just the rush of making that breakthrough. Finally getting their proteins to synthesize correctly. But she kissed Bernie. Full on the lips. Bernie had just sat dumbfounded as Serena carried on rambling about repeating the experiment. That was all it was. Serena was no different to all those other straight girls who liked to tease boys. It was just her flirtatious nature. It meant nothing.

It didn’t mean nothing. Serena kissed her again. Serena kissed her in her dorm room. Long, lingering kisses. Her hands clasping Bernie’s skin, clawing at her clothes. Bernie came rubbing herself furiously against Serena’s leg. Her silent cries of pleasure echoes of all those hours she had fantasized about just this moment. They could do this. They could have this. It was their own private affair.

They couldn’t do this. It wasn’t private. Why did Serena kiss her like that? Kiss her so publicly, so obviously? She couldn’t let this happen. She had to make her parents proud. Serena didn’t fit into that picture.

Bernie was sure she would move on. That she would forget Serena McKinnie. That her tears as Bernie packed her bags heading for the next school, the next posting, would become a distant memory. That her desperate pleas for Bernie to stay in touch, to meet her halfway wouldn’t haunt her dreams.

~~~~~

“So Ms. Wolfe will you take the consultant position? Holby could use skills like yours.”

A civilian life. Bernie could do this.

 

Bernie couldn’t do this. It was all going wrong. She had somehow successfully slighted the most respected surgeon on Darwin. A woman she respected but one she overruled in theatre nonetheless. She fared no better on Keller. Her gung-ho attitude so suited to a battlefield infirmary had no place amongst the electives and soft bedside manners that the likes of Sasha Levy mastered with such ease.

It was last chance saloon for her. A shift on AAU. A meeting with, if the rumour mill were to be believed, a very ambitious department head who also happened to be deputy CEO. A dragon lady in other words. Her marriage was lying in tatters on the floor, Bernie had to make this work. She would simply have to charm Ms. Campbell. How hard could that be?

This is impossible. Ms. Campbell, Ms. Serena Campbell was not a dragon lady. She was Ms. Serena McKinnie though. Bernie had not really followed much of Serena’s life after St Winnie’s. Perhaps she thought now, she should have paid more attention.

A old girl from St. Winnie's told her in casual conversation that Serena married. Just a blithe remark, a passing comment but one that wrenched her guts. Bernie never knew his name, details would make it all too real. She chose to block it out, to block Serena McKinnie out once and for all, so she finally accepted Marcus’s 8th, or was it 9th, proposal. She hoped it would bring an end to all those dreams of the dark-haired, dark-eyed girl who stole her heart. Now she could move on.

She couldn’t move on. Even as she held Alex close and touched her softly her thoughts drifted. She drifted to the same place she had for years. Back to St. Winnie’s. To a dorm room. To another dark-haired girl. Perhaps Serena still thought about her in the same way?

Serena didn’t think about her. Serena had forgotten her. There was no spark of recognition, no friendly smile. Just a brusque greeting and a tour of AAU. This was worse than the torment she endured all those years not knowing. Now she knew those heady months together at St Winifred's were just an experiment to Serena, a phase that she went through before settling down. After all she was happily married.

Serena was not happily married. The snake, Edward, had been dispatched years ago. Serena had joyfully told her during surgery one day. Filling her in on her ability to bear take-it-to-the-grave grudges. Bernie swallowed hard. Perhaps it was a good thing Serena did not remember her.

Serena did remember. She asked if it was Bernie who she had known at St. Winnie’s all those years ago. Said she had never been more than friends with a girl before then. She laughs it off easily enough now. Clearly not an experience she was keen to repeat. Serena was not interested in girls.

Serena was still interested in girls. Bernie kissed Serena. She couldn't hold herself back as the stream of kind, comforting words soothed at her anguish. Kissed her right there on the floor of the operating theatre. It was Serena who kissed her back, Serena who pulled her close, Serena who tangled her fingers in Bernie’s hair and kissed her until she was dizzy. Serena left her sat there on the floor. Bernie felt bereft, she knew how Serena felt all those years ago. If she had her time again she would do things differently.

Bernie sat in her car, head pounding against the steering wheel. She was doing it again. She was running. She was being a coward.

Time to stop.

She had been wrong all those times before. St. Winifred's was different to every other school. Serena was different to every other girl. Bernie never forgot her face or her tears. Bernie never stopped wanting her. It was, it always had been her. She took the key out of the ignition and stepped back into Holby, back into AAU.

 

Serena’s eyes stung with tears. She barely registered the light tap on the door, the white envelope pushed under.

Even bleary eyed that same curiosity got the better of her. Just as it had done all those years ago with the quiet, awkward, gangly, blond girl in her biology class. She opened the envelope to find a card. Not a great card, an art print from the gift shop downstairs.

Even after all these years she still recognised the writing. Her heart still beat that bit faster at the sight.

Serena lightly ran her fingers over the ridges of the delicate script, trying to commit each word to memory.

_I think perhaps I will always hold a candle for you – even until it burns my hand._ _  
_ _And when the light has long since gone …. I will be there in the darkness holding what remains, quite simply because I cannot let go. (_ Ranata Suzuki)

 

Time to be brave. Time to be different.

B x ****  
**  
** Bernie was a woman of few words. But those she used, she chose well.


	4. Coming Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernie needs a cleaner. Ric thinks he might know someone who can help....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 4: AU.
> 
> This was originally a multi-chapter that I wrote a while ago but could never quite finish. It has been brought to life for BAW. Enjoy!

Bernie didn’t know what Ric was complaining about. Her house was not that untidy. She had been in the army, surely she could manage to work shifts and keep the place clean. 

It had only taken two weeks for Ric to be proved correct. The final straw had been her discovery of a plate of, well what might have once been, curry or chilli which had been festering under the sofa for goodness knows how long. Point of fact, it might still have been there, evolving into a new lifeform had Bernie’s favourite pen not rolled under the sofa while she was scrawling comments on a research paper she was reading.

She needed help. Professional help. Ric had, rather presumptiously, left a card for some company or other, all she had to do was find it in all this mess.

45 minutes later and with a Swift Clean business card, complete with a rather large grease spot, finally located, Bernie picked up her phone to give them a ring. No doubt she would have to listen to Ric’s crowing for some time to come but she would at last be able to invite Cam and Char around without enduring their pitying glances to each other.

She had called the company and they had arranged a mutually convenient date, it had been a few days before anyone could attend as Bernie’s shifts this particular week were especially gruesome. Unfortunately, the first woman they sent took one look and went straight back to Swift Clean refusing to set foot in the place again. Bernie had tidied up for her as well, okay perhaps there was a bit of an odour, but she was working back to backs and she’d missed the bin collection. That could happen to anyone.

Luckily, they said they had someone else in mind, one of their most reliable staff. She cost a bit more than the previous lady but would be more flexible with days and hours, so could fit around Bernie’s shifts. She sounded perfect!

Bernie made a bit more of an effort for the second person Swift Clean sent. She even changed into some clean clothes in case the smell that the last lady so objected to had actually been her. Passing a mirror, she did wonder if she should have at least run a brush through her hair, but the knocking at the door told her that she was already running late and this woman would have to take her as she was, messy hair and all.

“Hello, Serena Campbell. You must be Berenice Wolfe. Pleased to meet you.” Bernie took the proffered hand of the woman stood on her doorstep. She’d expected to find either a young student type or an older lady stood on her doorstep. Instead she found a rather attractive, dark-haired woman, with a bright smile and deep brown eyes gazing back at her. “May I come in? Bit hard to clean your house from all the way out here.” Bernie suddenly realised that she hadn’t moved, she still held the soft, warm hand in hers. Her palms had become a little sweaty all of a sudden and she had to fight the urge to wipe them on her jeans.

“Sorry. I was expecting someone older. Please come in.” Bernie stepped aside and allowed the woman past. Serena, Bernie thought that was her name, strode confidently in, her short heels clicking sharply against the parquet flooring that the landlord had obviously installed about fifteen years ago. Bernie could only follow mutely as the woman went around the house, nodding and making little noises, sometimes quietly speaking to herself. As she bypassed Bernie the faintest scent of her perfume lingered in the air, it was subtle and delicate, a meadowy sort of smell. Bernie was disappointed when it faded and drifted away, she was in half a mind to walk slightly closer behind and see if she could detect it again and might have done so had she not been fairly certain she would have been caught. It is a bit off-putting, Bernie decided, to turn around and find your potential employer sniffing you. That would likely bring a premature end to her acquaintance with Serena and probably Swift Clean too.

“So you are a doctor at the hospital. Uneven shifts I understand. Must make household routines difficult to manage?” Bernie nodded and murmured her agreement. “Based on that I would recommend we start with two visits a week, three hours each, adjusted around your schedule so I am preferably here when you are on a day shift. I presume Swift Clean told you of my hourly rates?” Again Bernie could only nod in agreement as Serena barrelled on. “All agreed then?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Good. If you let me have a copy of your shift rota, a spare set of keys and sign and return the contract to Swift Clean. I can start next week. If you leave a new rota pinned to the fridge for me when you get it then I can just manage the days I am here without you needing to worry.” Goodness, this woman was organised. Bernie’s head was spinning at just the concept of trying to organise when Serena would clean, so to have her plan it all for her was a dream.

“Perfect. I’ll just get my spare keys now, and I’ll send my shifts for the next two weeks over to Swift Clean when I return the contract.”

“Good, good. Nice to meet you, Berenice.” As they were unlikely to see each other except in passing, there was no need to inform Serena how much she hated being called Berenice. This was all going to work out just fine.

 

Bernie’s house had never been so spotless. If anything she found it a little too spotless. On arriving home she felt the urge to mess the sofa cushions or leave a dirty spoon on the worktop, anything just so it felt a little more lived in. In fact it had all worked out without a hitch. Serena was virtually invisible, Bernie had never seen her again. Well she occasionally appeared in Bernie’s mind’s eye when her vibrator was just not enough to push her over the edge but if Bernie had a thing for beautiful, brown-eyed brunettes of a certain age, Serena need never know.

 

How could Bernie have been so stupid? She sat in the car park banging her head against the soft leather steering wheel of her rental car. Of course it was her work laptop that was the source of the leak. She shouldn’t have left it in the car. Henrik was completely within his rights to suspend her pending the investigation. She had been negligent and an innocent junior doctor was now paying a very public price for her stupidity.

 

Bernie had been stupid again. She had forgotten to inform Serena of her change in schedule. Which is why they found themselves in this rather embarrassing position. Bernie in her bra and boxers, bed head hair all over the place, Serena aghast, open-mouthed, was that a horrified look on her face?

“Tea?” Bernie blithely asked as she strode past into the kitchen. Well it was best to just brazen it out after all. Her flushed cheeks aside, if she made it into a big deal, it would only be more embarrassing for them both.

It took a few moments for Serena to reply. Her voice slightly broken when she did. “Yes. That would be nice.” She must have taken a few moments to compose her thoughts because when she returned she was the confident, direct woman one more. “I’m sorry did I get your shifts mixed up? I thought you were on until 8 o’clock tonight?”

Bernie was impressed that she had memorised her routine quite so thoroughly. “Sorry, my fault. An unexpected change in my routine I’m afraid. Got myself suspended for failing to report the theft of my laptop. Will you be able to manage to clean with me hanging around or should I go out?”

“No. No. It’s fine.” Serena kept her eyes averted from Bernie. “Erm, Berenice, will you always be….” Words had failed Serena it would seem as she waved vaguely at Bernie’s state of undress.

Bernie could only laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. “I shall ensure I am appropriately attired in future Serena.” And gave her a mock-salute earning herself a raised eyebrow in reply. “In fact I shall get dressed tout de suite. Oh and Serena, please call me Bernie. Only my parents ever called me Berenice.”

 

If Serena found Bernie distracting, the same could be said for the effect Serena had. Bernie tried not to gaze at her quite as often as she might but the sight of Serena bent over scrubbing her floor, or dusting her shelves, or vacuuming under the coffee table was proving hard to resist. Such activities also seemed to be accompanied by, what Bernie could only describe as, jiggling. 

It was hardly surprising then that Bernie’s suspension had coincided with an increasing appearance of Serena in her dreams. This was a most troubling turn of events and Bernie needed to get a grip. This was her cleaner, for goodness sake. Carry on this way and she would find herself not only suspended but on the end of a sexual harassment suit as well.

Bernie tried to avoid Serena. She would go out running. Head to a coffee shop. Anything to reduce the chance of her saying or doing something inappropriate. The trouble was the more she tried to manage her time around Serena’s shifts the more Serena seemed to adjust when she was there. Bernie had never been the best at organising so she must just have just been mistaken about when Serena said she would clean. Serena was too organised to make a mistake like that.

Serena had even taken to making meals for Bernie and leaving organised little take-away containers of homemade food in the fridge fully labelled with cooking instructions, or microwave times in Bernie’s case. Serena insisted this was because she had to batch cook for Jason, her husband Bernie assumed, and always made extra that never seemed to fit in the freezer. Bernie secretly thought it was because Serena had caught her dipping a Kit-Kat into a Nice ‘n’ Spicy Pot Noodle instead of making a “proper lunch” as Serena called it.

It was a huge relief for Bernie therefore when her suspension ended and she was allowed back to work. Not least to get some distance between herself and Serena. It was not that Serena had done anything wrong, far from it. If anything she was too perfect. Bernie had taken to imagining Serena at home cooking the meals as she ate them, her husband, Jason, conveniently absent from all her thoughts. She had come to like Serena. Her friendly chatter and kind acts. Bernie had come to rely on Serena. Bernie had started to look forward to seeing her. She had started to brush her hair and put on make-up in case she bumped into Serena when their paths crossed. Bernie was in danger. It would settle down when they got back into their old routine she was sure.

Bernie went back to her old routine, she duly put her shift rota on the fridge but things had not gone back to how they were. Serena’s meals still lined the fridge. Each one completely delicious and no doubt nutritionally balanced. More and more often though their paths would cross. It may only be five minutes here or there, but having never seen Serena for the first few months, these days they seemed to run into each other almost every time Serena cleaned. Serena would blame traffic or Jason needing some ridiculous thing or other— Bernie personally thought that he sounded a bit needy and perhaps Serena could do better but maybe that was her own wishful thinking.

Bernie had to bite her tongue on more than one occasion to stop herself from saying exactly how lucky Jason was to have such a wonderful wife. Bernie could only hope to find someone who would care for her as much.

It caused Bernie both great joy and great dismay to discover that Serena had taken to using her own brand of detergent in Bernie’s laundry so the whole house now smelled like that delicate, meadowy scent that enchanted her at their very first meeting. Bernie awoke most mornings with her nose pressed tight to the pillow her body alive with desire, her liminal state allowing her sleepy brain to imagine it was Serena’s soft skin she clutched, her hair that tickled at her nose. Bernie now had to find more and more reasons to start her shifts early or finish late.

 

Bernie drove home in a daze. The events of the day still whirring through her mind. An uncontrollable cycle of fear, blame and regret buzzing away. The pain no longer tempered by the fire of adrenaline heating her veins. Her hands were shaking as she pushed the key into the lock, it took three or four attempts to get it to slot home. She was surprised to find the lights still on. She dropped her keys on the table and staggered through to the kitchen finding a glass and the bottle of whisky she poured herself a hefty measure. Fletch’s pale face swam through her mind and she squeezed her eyes tightly closed to drive it away. 

She didn’t realise Serena was there. She didn’t know until she felt her arm snake around her shoulders and pull her close. Her voice softly soothing her. Her comforting presence was too much, the day had already taken such a toll for her to be strong anymore. Bernie’s knees gave way underneath her, slumping down against the cold tile floor, she all but pulled Serena with her. 

Serena didn’t let go, just held her until it passed, until the tears stopped falling and the quiet sobs stilled in her chest. Only then did she pull back, just ever so slightly, hands lifting to rub at Bernie’s tear-streaked face. The pads of her thumbs brushing lightly across her cheeks and then she bent down to kiss her. She kissed her softly and tenderly. It was a kiss of care and affection. 

Bernie could have lost herself in it but she pulled away. She was taking advantage of Serena’s kindness again. She averted her eyes, she was ashamed of herself. Then Bernie glanced up. She looked up expecting to see disgust and revulsion reflected back but all she found was warmth and hope in Serena’s chestnut brown eyes. The desire burned her chest, it clutched between her thighs and she couldn’t hide it. Serena must have seen it, for she snaked her hand into Bernie’s hair, still soaked with the sweat of theatre, and pulled her in to kiss her again. Kiss her firmly and passionately and Bernie kissed her back. Kissed her with every ounce of her being. Kissed her in every way she had wanted to for so very long. 

Serena broke their kiss, pulling herself back slightly but her hand still stroking at Bernie’s cheek tenderly. “Sorry.” Bernie panted the word out breathlessly.

“Sorry? I’ve been wanting to do that for weeks.” Serena replied.

“You have? But what about your husband?” Serena’s face twisted in confusion. “Jason.” Suddenly she was laughing and it was Bernie’s turn to be confused.

“Jason is my nephew. My delightful if somewhat challenging nephew. I have no husband or boyfriend or male interest of any kind. My interests lie elsewhere if that was not already obvious.”

“Oh.” Bernie’s face cleared. “Why did you not say anything before?”

“I have been trying to but you kept disappearing. Starting shifts early or working late and well there never seemed to be the chance. I came back tonight to get your new shift rota to see if I could catch you at the hospital instead.”

“I was avoiding you.” Serena looked crestfallen at Bernie’s words. “No, I didn’t mean… I have been finding it harder not to think about you. Think about you romantically that is. I am your employer and well I didn’t think sexual harassment would look too good on my C.V.”

“Bernie?”

“Yes Serena.”

Serena smiled broadly and leaned in close. “I quit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to @sasstermasters-quarter for reading and immeasurably improving everything I write.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read and comment. Writing 7 fics in 7 days is tough going so your support means the world.


	5. Underneath an African sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 5: Nairobi
> 
> Serena & Bernie's relationship seems to have descended into nothing more than exchanging WhatsApp messages. 
> 
> Will that annoying little 'ping' spell then end for them or can they find a way back to each other?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the prompt that I really struggled to get inspiration from so apologies if this fic is a little clunky in part! 
> 
> I promise no KitKats or Pot Noodles this time though.

**HOLBY CITY**

**Monday**

Serena slumped back in her chair and glared at her phone. Hope flared up in her chest for a moment, perhaps she had left it on silent and missed the message, WhatsApp only pinged once after all. She hurriedly flipped it over and checked her lock-screen for the fifth time in the last ten minutes. Still blank. She sighed dejectedly. They had been exchanging messages for weeks. They agreed upon this date and this time. Well, this date and eight minutes, 26 seconds ago to be precise but Bernie was always a little late.

“Ms. Campbell?” Nicky appeared at her office door with a rather sheepish look. “I’m sorry but the patient in bay three is asking specifically for you.”

“Can’t he wait?” Serena waved her arms around. “I am rather busy.” Nicky looked around the empty office. Saw no sign of activity at all, only Serena sat at an empty desk clear of anything save her phone lying face down. She wisely chose not to make any comment, goodness only knows what Serena was up to and she certainly did not look in the mood for Nicky’s smart observations today.

Serena gave one last angry glare at her wretched phone and rose. “Alright Nicky, I’m coming. It looks like my appointment has cancelled on me anyway.” Serena swung out of the office, teal blouse billowing around her hips as she stalked across to see what catastrophe the troublesome Mr. Jenks was concocting this time.

Behind her the angry wasp-like buzzing of her phone against the table reached no-one’s ears, the screen that lit up with Serena’s favourite photo of Bernie went unseen.

Mr. Jenks took up barely five minutes of Serena’s time. He just needed reassurance. The pleasant, but rather direct approach from Nicky had spooked him a little. The arrogant Duvall had no interest in wasting his time calming an anxious patient when there was an emergency splenectomy he could scrub in for.

Serena’s already frayed temper was not soothed to find she had missed the call by mere moments and instead there was yet another message from Bernie.

_B: Sorry I missed you. Off to dinner w. Chege and his team. A proper night out at last. Going to the National Museum tomorrow. Will send you some pics. Love B x_

Serena hurled her phone against the carpet. She missed Bernie desperately. Her partner had been so busy getting the trauma unit launched that they had done no more than exchange the odd message. Ships that pass in the night. Serena snorted in disgust. Today was supposed to be different. A call, a video call if Bernie could find a cafe with decent WiFi. Instead, it was another message. Short and informative. Very Bernie.

As tears of frustration and loneliness threatened her eyes, Serena recovered her discarded phone and ran her thumb across the same photo of Bernie that had flashed up on her screen moments before. Bernie was tanned and smiling. She looked happy. Nairobi was what she needed right now. It did not stop Serena’s heart from aching. Aching for the woman she loved to be home. Back in Holby where she belonged.

_S: I was with a patient when you called. Have a Shiraz for me if you can find any! I miss you. S x_

With a last wistful look, she turned the phone over and picked up the untouched patient discharge forms that had started to amass on her desk.

“Keeping myself busy, that will help.” She muttered, only half believing it herself.

**Tuesday**

Serena spent her day in and out of surgery. A abscess of the upper thigh had turned into a major surgical procedure when it found to be more serious, necrotising fasciitis. A Keller consult was duly called, but due to the proximity to the femoral arteries a vascular surgeon had to be on hand in case an emergency repair would be required. A small tear was bad enough, but they had a major rupture on their hands. This was not going to be easy. Serena sighed and redoubled her efforts.

Once more she missed Bernie. Missed her here in theatre; guiding, supporting and filling her with hope. It was probably here in this room that she fell in love. Fell in love with the strong, confident, brave surgeon who made her feel they could do anything together if they believed. Serena shook away the melancholy. There was a young man here who needed her right now. Her thoughts of Bernie would have to wait.

Three hours later and both the necrotising fasciitis and leg were gone. Serena hadn’t been able to stem the bleed and what started as a simple surgery had ended with devastating, lifelong consequences for her patient.

Her mood was not improved by the stream of cheery pictures and the occasional selfie of Bernie next to ever more interesting Kenyan art pieces.

Her phone pinged again. A picture of dinner this time. Serena squinted. She could not even make out what it might be. Bernie however was clearly enjoying her days off. She couldn’t- shouldn’t begrudge her that.

_S: Enjoy that whatever it may be! I’m on nights tomorrow - I’ll be around in the early afternoon if you would like to Skype? Love you S x_

She reclined in her chair and rubbed her eyes. She needed a decent night of sleep. Guinevere was proving to be most adept at late night partying and sleeping all day. Poor Jason was not coping well with the change in his routines and Greta was exhausted. So Serena was taking the 10pm to 3am shift, Greta had 3am to 8am and Jason had her from 8am until 1pm. Until Guinevere learnt night from day or until Jason could manage to adjust his sleep pattern just a little Serena was managing on five hours and occasional naps in the on-call. Today was not likely to allow her any naps so coffee it would have to be.

Strong and hot. Even the words conjured images of Bernie as she sipped the steaming liquid from the hideous cardboard cup. She was pining. There was no doubting it. Even the pain au chocolat, which was little more than a scattering of crumbs now, reminded her of her absentee girlfriend. She checked her phone once again. The little red numbers against the WhatsApp icon showing she had missed Bernie once more.

_B: Driving to the outskirts of Nairobi tomorrow. No mobile signal. How about Thurs? Love you too B x_

Oh just brilliant. She wouldn’t speak to her tomorrow either. It was as if the fates were telling her something. The rush of staff across the ward heralded another mini-crisis about to erupt. Well, at least work would keep her busy today.

**Wednesday**

Serena’s head was thumping. Guinevere had been more tiring than usual last night. A fractious baby and exhausted parents did not make for a happy household. Serena had stayed up until five, she was adjusting to nights after all but now her ears were ringing.

She cracked an eye open.

No that was not her ears. That was her phone. A faint hope sprung up that it might be Bernie, even though so had said she was driving today maybe she changed her mind. The tiny flicker of hope extinguished as Jason’s face appeared on her screen.

“Jason? Is everything okay?”

The sudden outpouring of his frantic words overwhelmed her. Serena calmed her tone, even as her heart began to pound. “Jason, love, calm down. I’ll be on my way right now, but I’m sure it is nothing serious. No need to call an ambulance just yet. I’ll be with you in ten minutes.”

Serena hurriedly dressed and grabbed her bag and keys. Oh, where were her car keys when she needed them. She hadn’t lied to Jason. It most likely was nothing to worry about. But that didn’t stop images of Elinor’s face swimming in front of her eyes; neither did it stop her stomach churning with worry. Jason, of course, had been on the internet looking up ever more drastic causes of Guinevere’s constant crying and lethargy. Serena was sure it was something minor. At last she found her keys, still in her jacket where she left them when she arrived home last night, or rather a few hours ago really. She took a deep breath, calmed her nerves and drove the short distance to Jason’s.

Serena stepped out into the fresh air and drew in a deep, calming breath. A light summer drizzle was falling and it felt cool against her face.

Guinevere was fine. She was hungry, nothing more sinister than that. She had a little case of reflux and was not keeping enough milk down. Her crying had simply been her way of saying she was hungry, and because she was hungry it meant she wasn’t sleeping well enough, so was tired.

Serena internally berated herself. She should have noticed the vomiting was more than normal, but it had been so long since she had been a parent and you forget quickly. With a little baby antacid, Guinevere had kept most of her lunch down and was happily asleep for what felt like the first time in days.

Serena glanced at her phone. Two messages from Bernie- pictures again. Oh Lord, was that the time already?! Her shift started in an hour and she had to get home, shower and change first. This was going to be a long night.

The night shift yielded only a few minor cases that required little involvement of a senior consultant. Donna pointed Serena in the direction of the on-call room and shooed her off. Even in her weary state sleep eluded Serena. She was bone-tired. Tired of the constant baby care duties; tired of the endless stream of paperwork piling up on her desk; tired of the babysitting the new F1s, but most of all she was tired of never seeing her ‘partner’.

It didn’t feel like a partnership at the moment. Serena was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders and it seemed she had to bear it alone. Their relationship hadn’t used to be this way. When Bernie was here, even before they were lovers, they always supported each other. Maybe it was just the tiredness talking, but it didn’t feel that way anymore. Instead, she felt lonely. In a relationship, but still lonely.

It couldn’t carry on. Not like this. They had not even managed to speak to each other in weeks. Something would have to change and change soon. Serena just hoped it wasn’t already too late.

**NAIROBI**

**Thursday**

Bernie gazed forlornly out past the tall buildings that speckled the Nairobi skyline at the morning sun rising. The city stretched out before her cast into warm hues of amber and orange. Light seeping around the edges of her bedroom blind had long since woken her. A cup of tea clasped in her hand, an extinguished cigarette butt crushed beneath the leg of the chair she reclined on. She did so love this time of day; the peace; the early morning sun warming the soles of her feet that rested atop the balcony balustrade. She should feel happy, feel content but lately she has just felt bereft.

That same aching void that rears its head whenever she slows down for a moment has her fully in its grasp now. It was a Serena shaped void. It wasn't that Bernie did not appreciate the time off work. She had been working twelve hours or more every day since she arrived back from her last visit to Holby. It was just, time gave her a chance to think. To think how much better it would be if Serena were with her.

She knows Serena stayed in Holby for the right reasons and she would wait for eternity for her, that was no lie. It is just every sight she sees, every place she goes would be so much brighter, so much more beautiful if she could share them with Serena. Bernie may not be as good at verbalising her feelings but her love runs deep. Deeper than she ever thought love could run.

She picks up her phone and starts to tap out another message, deletes it. Her finger hovering over the call button instead. She checks her watch, two hours behind would make it very early indeed. Serena has been on nights and Bernie is fairly sure that her partner is doubling up helping out with Guinevere too. Although Serena would never complain about that, it does take a toll on her.

No. Best let her sleep some more. A message will have to suffice. She flicks the photo icon and snaps the scene, tries to capture the moment, her bare feet still visible in the shot. She may not be good with words, but she can share every beautiful moment with Serena as best she can. Silently saying “I wish you were here.”

She sends the message. Just that picture. She is not good with words after all. At least Serena will know she is thinking of her.

 

Bernie has taken to running again. Early morning runs the only time she can go before the stifling sun makes it unbearable later in the day. Even as her feet tap out a relentless rhythm, her thoughts don’t go far from Serena, from Holby. She picks up the pace, her legs start to ache, her lungs start to burn with the exertion. If peace can’t keep her longing away, maybe pain can.

She stops at her favourite coffee shop as she walks evenly back to her apartment. Nairobi is starting to come alive, there is already a queue forming. The coffee here is so good that many go out of their way to get a cup before bustling off to the tower blocks to do whatever it is they do there all day. The first sip just makes her think of how much Serena would enjoy this. Strong and hot. It makes her smile. Her heart aches again. The coffee doesn’t taste quite the same after that.

By the time she gets back to her apartment and showers away the stale sweat that is drying on her skin it is nearly 11 o’clock. 9am back home. Not too early to call. She brushes her fingers through her still damp curls and pushes the call button. It rings and rings and rings but is not answered. Maybe Serena is still asleep. So she has to message again, tries to keep it bright and brief. The last thing Serena needs is to worry about her as well as work, Jason and Guinevere.

_B: A free day! What a treat. Time for a call later? I’m free all day if you are? B x_

She hears nothing back. Busies herself doing laundry and tidying but everything feels hollow. She checks her phone again. Still no reply.

It eventually pings that familiar tone mid-afternoon. It must be lunchtime at home and Bernie wonders if Serena is at work. She didn’t think she had a shift today but she does struggle to remember details.

_S: Sorry no time today. I’m on shift until late and I am out this evening. I will catch up with you tomorrow. S x_

Bernie tries not to read too much into it. Tries not to read it over and over. It's just so unlike Serena. She scrolls back over their messages. Serena always finishes with “I miss you” or “I love you”. She must just be very busy. Bernie tries not to worry.

Her phone pings again. Maybe Serena managed to find a moment free to message her again. It is not from Serena though. It is from Chege. He has organised a surprise for her. A thank you for the work she has done on the trauma unit. Another sightseeing trip. The National Park. Her heart sinks. It’s tomorrow. She will likely miss Serena again now.

She briefly considers politely declining but Chege is a proud man. The local team don’t earn much. The tours of the National Park are expensive, mostly designed as a way for tourists to spend their cash. She sends back a message saying how overjoyed she is to go. That she cannot thank him enough.

_B: Chege has organised a tour of the National Park tomorrow. I might be back in time for a late call?_

PING. The reply comes back very quickly this time.

_S: Sounds great. Don’t rush back for me. Enjoy yourself. S x_

**Friday**

Bernie slept fitfully. The suffocating heat was bad enough but she was restless. Ever since joining Serena in the vineyards in the South of France, ever since that time spent alone together, it felt like they found each other again. Now it seemed like Serena was slipping away; grains of sand through her fingers, the tighter she grasped the faster they fell. Even as they sat on the cold hard floor outside the delivery suite; even when they agreed that Serena couldn’t leave Jason; even when they said goodbye she could still feel her. Now she was not so certain.

She checked her phone again. Still no message. She had rung the house last night and there had been no reply. Serena had said she was going out and Lord knows she deserved a good night out but Bernie’s jealous mind couldn’t help but fill in the gaps. Pictures of Serena out with Fleur, flirting and laughing together; pictures of Serena with some faceless man buying her glasses of Shiraz, trying his luck. She shook her head. No, she trusted Serena, loved Serena. She was just sleeping off a few bottles of red somewhere.

Bernie checked her watch. She had to get moving. She was meeting the tour guide in half and hour. A very early start but to get the best views you have to be there early. She grabbed a light jacket and her water bottle and started to walk briskly to the meeting point.

The guide was already waiting when she arrived. He smiled broadly.

“Miss Wolfe?” Bernie nodded. “I'm Jimi your guide for today. The other member of the party is already here. If you hop into the Jeep we can get started.”

Bernie hadn’t realised it was a shared tour but if it made it less expensive for Chege she was more than happy. So long as whoever it was didn’t want to chat to her. She was never one for small talk, even less so today. Maybe if she was lucky they didn’t speak much English.

Bernie pulled open the door and she saw a wide-brimmed hat, short greying hair and a pair of deep, chestnut brown eyes looking at her. “Serena! What are you doing here?”

“I heard Jimi here gives the best tours.” Serena stared at Bernie for a moment. “I came to see you, you nitwit. Now are you going to stand there and just look at me or do I at least get a hug?”

Bernie launched herself headlong into the Jeep, arms wrapping around Serena and pulling her into a bearhug. “I can’t believe you are here. When did you arrive?”

“First thing this morning. I took a flight out of London yesterday evening.”

“But how did you know to come here?”

“Chege arranged this for us on my behalf. I wanted to surprise you.”

“Well you certainly managed that. Oh it's so good to see you.” Bernie leaned back from Serena slightly as Jimi climbed into the Jeep and started the engine. “I’ve missed you.”

Serena leaned forward and whispered, her words lost to Jimi over the sound of the engine. “I’ve missed you too. So very much.” They sat happy together, fingers entwined on the seat between them, as Jimi drove them the short distance out to the Nairobi National Park.

Serena had to admit the wildlife was incredible but more often than not her eyes were drawn to Bernie; drawn to the woman she loved. Giraffes, lions and elephants were all very nice but Bernie trumped them all.

The tour was quite a long one and at some point Serena must have dozed off, the long journey catching up with her. She woke as they hit a large bump in the road with a start. Bernie’s arm slung around her shoulder holding her close.

“Sorry I must have dropped off. Where are we?” She mumbled, voice still thick with sleep.

“Heading back to the centre. I’ll get you home for some food and some sleep.”

“Mmm. Sounds good.” Serena yawned and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She couldn’t believe she was here, that she was with Bernie. Part of her wished that she hadn’t napped. She didn’t want to waste a moment of their time together.

“How long can you stay for?” Bernie sounded hopeful.

“A long weekend is all I could manage. I have a flight back on Sunday night.” Bernie’s face fell slightly. “It still gives us two more days together.”

“Well there is plenty to do before then. There is so much I want to show you.” Bernie’s eyes lit up brightly thinking about all those places she had stood imagining Serena there beside her.

Serena let her head fall back against Bernie’s shoulder. The familiar feel and smell of her partner so comforting to her. “Nairobi does seem to have a certain urban charm to it judging by all the pictures you have sent me this week. That said,” She lifted her head back again to capture Bernie’s eyes. “The first views I have in mind are a lot more breathtaking and not to be found in any guidebook.”

Bernie smirked knowingly, her voice dropping to a whisper as her eyes darkened. “Well here’s to another 48 hours.” **  
**


	6. A girl does so like a uniform

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 6: Alcohol
> 
> The AAU gang head to Albie's for Donna's birthday with Fletch Snr in tow. 
> 
> Will alcohol induce Serena succumb to his charms?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorter entry but I couldn't get the image out of my head of Fletch Snr's face when he found out where Serena's real passions lay.

Albie’s was full to the rafters this evening and the party was well underway. Most of AAU, half the nursing staff, Fletch and a few stragglers from Keller had come to celebrate with Donna. Even Fletch’s dad had managed to somehow wangle an invite.

Every available table space was littered with empty glasses, party streamers and discarded hats. The music blared out full blast and most of the remaining revellers had made their way up onto the makeshift dance floor and were in the process of showing off some rather dubious moves.

Ric stretched out against the soft cushions of the sofa and stifled a yawn. Serena, cradling her glass on one hand, gave him a sharp dig in the ribs with the other. “Getting too old for this kind of thing, Ric?”

“Speak for yourself, Serena. I am as capable today as I was twenty years ago.” He yawned again.

“Ha!” Serena exclaimed pointing. “See.”

“I was up half the night on the phone to Jess in Australia remember.”

“Hmmm. How are things with you two. Better I take it?” Serena swirled the last few drops of wine around her glass before finishing it.

“Better. It is just taking a lot of work. The time difference,” he paused yawning again, “isn’t helping.”

“Looks like it's off to bed with a cup of cocoa for you then, old man.” Serena teased as he rose to collect his jacket.

“Would you like to share a cab or are you staying?”

“Nothing for me to rush home to." Serena replied, her smile faltering slightly. “Bernie’s still away. So I am having an intimate relationship with Mr. Shiraz here in the meantime.”

Ric bent down and planted a kiss softly against Serena’s cheek. “I’ll say goodnight then. Try not to do anything I wouldn’t.”

“That doesn’t rule much out.” Serena’s words thick and heavy, laced with the alcohol she had already consumed.

“Goodnight Serena.”

“Night Ric.”

Serena was in the midst of peering down the neck of the now empty bottle of Shiraz, attempting to spot any remaining wine that may have eluded her earlier, when the sofa shifted next to her. Serena’s head moved slowly only to find the rather smug looking face of Steven Fletcher leering back at her.

“Hello again."

“Ah Mr. Fletcher Senior.” Serena squinted trying to focus on the man in front of her. “How are we this evening?”

“Very well. I was just on route to the bar and thought to myself, there looks like a lady in need of another drink.” Steven’s eyes roamed over Serena’s neckline, his gaze coming to rest on her breasts.

Serena, blissfully oblivious to his lecherous glances, merely smiled sweetly. “Shiraz. Bottle of. I’m off to the ladies.”

Steven enjoyed watching Serena as she swayed and stumbled to the bathroom. Her hips sashaying hypnotically as she moved. Only once she had disappeared from sight in the dimmed light at the far side of the room did he resign himself to the trip to the bar. The queue was mercifully short. Many patrons had given up drinking in favour of shaking their booty in time to the cheesy 70s and 80s hits that accompanied them. He waited patiently as the person in front of him was served. His eyes never moving from where Serena had last stood.

When she returned, complete with a freshly applied coat of lipstick, she looked delectable if a little bleary eyed. She glanced over to the vacant sofa before being man-handled, by a very tipsy Donna, onto the dance floor. Dancing Queen was blaring out of the speakers and Serena looked right at home, her hips gyrating and sashaying in perfect time. Steven smirked and licked his lips as he watched Serena throw herself full-blooded into the dance. The bartender finished serving the customer before him and he duly ordered a beer for himself and Serena’s bottle of Shiraz.

“She looks like an amazing woman.” The customer in front of him must have noticed his gaze.

“Yes. I thought she was a bit of a dragon at first but she certainly grows on you. The more Shiraz you apply, the warmer the reception. I’m hoping this bottle will help me get a very friendly reception indeed, if you know what I mean.” He tapped the green glass with his finger before turning to share a knowing look with the owner of the voice. He offered his hand. “Steven Fletcher.”

The woman took his hand in a crushing grip that left him wincing slightly. “Berenice Wolfe.” He hadn’t noticed the army fatigues the woman wore. If he had seen those before perhaps he would have thought twice about offering his hand quite so freely. He flexed his aching digits.

“That uniform for real?” The woman nodded. “Ah I was going to ask where I could hire one. Women love a uniform after all.” He spotted Serena now standing dancing on a table-top cheered on by all around her. “Especially that one I would imagine.”

One of the more conscientious members of the Albie’s bar-staff moved to extract Serena from her precarious table-top routine before a serious injury occurred. A chorus of boos echoed around from the crowd who were quite enjoying the show Serena was putting on.

“Know her well do you?” The woman’s voice had a slight edge to it which Steven couldn’t quite read.

“Not as well as I would like.” His words were cut short as he saw Serena making a beeline directly for him. Perhaps, he thought that extra bottle wouldn’t be needed after all. He looked at it untouched and wondered if the bartender would give him a refund. By look of hunger in Serena’s smoky eyes, she was more than warmed up already.

Steven inclined his body ready to meet the gorgeous brunette and catch her in his arms if he was lucky. His smug smile slipping from his face as Serena pushed past him and climbed onto the lap of the female soldier sat next to him. He could only stare open-mouthed as they kissed passionately in front of him. Serena wriggling herself further and further atop the other woman as they did.

Eventually they pulled apart both gasping for breath, Serena still swaying slightly from the Shiraz but held tightly in the soldier’s arms. “Bernie.” She giggled and attempted to wipe the liberal smear of her freshly applied lipstick from the soldier’s face.

“Hello darling.” Bernie smiled. “Good night?”

“Much better now.” Serena replied, tangling her fingers in Bernie’s hair.

“Need a lift home by any chance?” Serena nodded enthusiastically. “Come on then, let’s get out of here.” Serena hopped off Bernie’s lap and staggered over to the sofa to fetch her jacket and bag.

“Oh, you were quite correct by the way.” Bernie’s words directed to the still stunned looking Steven. “She does love a uniform. Especially piled in a heap on her bedroom floor I find.” Bernie smirked as his jaw dropped to the floor. She reached round him and grabbed the bottle of Shiraz.

“Ready soldier?” Serena suddenly reappeared beside them.

“Yes ma’am.” Bernie saluted smartly and took Serena’s arm as she gave Steven one last triumphant smile before leading her away.

“Was that Bernie I just saw?” Fletch’s voice loud in his ear. Steven turned and nodded dejectedly. “No wonder Serena left in a hurry.”

“You could have warned me, son. I just paid £25 for that bottle of wine.”

“I was enjoying you make a fool of yourself too much for that.” Fletch was still laughing as he went back to join Donna and Dom on the dance floor.

Steven took a large gulp of his pint. Serena was still a helluva woman. He flexed his aching hand again. Just looked like she had a helluva woman of her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you could imagine his face too and Fletch enjoying him looking like a total tit!


	7. A Disciplinary Matter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 7: Smut
> 
> Detective Inspector Bernie Wolfe has a bit of a reputation- she is generally considered rude, insubordinate and hard to manage. Shame she is such a fine police officer.
> 
> Will a disciplinary meeting with her Deputy Chief Constable bring her to task?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note the change in warning and the new tags, they apply for language, content and themes. Read at your peril.
> 
> I wrote this originally over a year ago based on a thread on Tumblr. Now I am giving it life.

She was not sure how long she was stood there with her mouth agape but she was vaguely aware from the burning in her lungs that she had ceased breathing some moments ago.

Bernie had never seen anything so jaw-droppingly, heart-stoppingly amazing in her entire life.

The cause of her arrhythmia was one Serena Campbell. DCC Serena Campbell. DCC Serena Campbell who had been the object of her forbidden fantasies for far longer than Bernie would dare to admit.

The woman in question was waiting for her the moment she stepped through the door, her short clipped nails drummed impatiently against the arm of her chair, low heeled shoes clicked irritably against the cheap carpet under her foot. Now leant forwards in her high backed chair her fingers ceased their staccato rhythm to steeple together on her desk, her shirt straining against her ample breasts as she did.

She was bedecked in her spotlessly pressed Deputy Chief Constable uniform, and by all that is holy did that woman not wear it so well. She noticed Bernie’s admiring gaze and a sultry smile curled at her lips, she was enjoying this immensely.

Bernie might have been forgiven for thinking her DCC was off to a formal police function, but it was a case of almost but not quite. Her keen detective skills were hardly challenged in spotting the lace topped stockings teasingly revealed from beneath the hem of her hitched up skirt and, while she might have lost herself staring at that alone, it was the notable absence of a bra under her standard attire starched white shirt that really made Bernie’s tongue thicken and her throat dry.

The shirt that stretched so alluringly across the supple, naked flesh gave only a fleeting glimpse of the mottled chestnut brown nipple before it disappeared underneath the lapels of her DCC’s silver-buttoned jacket and Bernie found herself nearly standing on tiptoes trying desperately to get a better view of her commanding officer’s chest.

“Detective Inspector. You are late.” Serena barked. Bernie nearly toppled over in surprise. “It does not do to keep your superiors waiting at times like these.“ Bernie’s eyes snapped up from the delectable cleavage she was ogling to meet Serena’s eye. A smile curling at the woman’s soft pink lips. "If you would be so kind as to lock the door behind you we do not want our meeting prematurely disturbed, now do we? I have a feeling that this matter might take us some time to conclude” Serena paused, her voice dropping an octave as she murmured suggestively, ”to our mutual satisfaction.” The words dripped with wicked promise and Bernie felt a rush tremble through her thighs at just the thought.

“As you know we are here to discuss the catalogue of instances of your insubordinate behaviour and agree on the appropriate disciplinary regime. We really must ensure we have no further slip ups.” Serena’s fingers toyed with the pendant at her neck, rolling it between finger and thumb as her tongue slipped out to wet her lips. Bernie gulped hard and coughed to clear the dry lump which formed at the back of her throat.

“I can assure you Ma’am I am 100% committed to doing everything I can to make amends for my indiscretions.” Bernie attempted to stand up straight, to put all that military bearing to good use, but her legs were wobbling beneath her. Serena had reduced her to a quivering wreck with nothing more than a few suggestive words and the quirk of a sculpted eyebrow.

“I’m very glad to hear it but we have been here in the past. All fine words and false dawns. This time you are going to have to prove you can listen to and take orders. I have received far to many complaints this week about your gung-ho attitude to simply accept your word for it. Will you be able to show me exactly how compliant you can be, Inspector Wolfe? Or will I be forced to take matters into my own hands?” Bernie could only mutely nod. To her ears Serena Campbell taking her into her own hands could only be a good thing. Bernie’s thoughts drifted off and she nearly missed what Serena was saying. “Now the first area you must master is self-control. An attribute you have shown a distinct lack of at times. Are you capable of demonstrating to me how good you can be, Inspector?”

Serena swivelled her chair away from the large oak desk and beckoned Bernie forward. “Come here please.” Bernie duly complied, moving to stand directly in front of her DCC. Serena rose to her feet only to grasp Bernie by the shoulders and press her to her knees. Serena took her seat once more, her regulation uniform skirt hitching just a fraction higher as she did, her thighs opening slightly further. Bernie was knelt directly in front of her, angled to fit between Serena’s parted thighs. Bernie chanced a glance away from Serena’s heated gaze to see the taut fabric of her skirt digging into the edge of her thighs. The click of Serena’s tongue to the roof of her mouth let Bernie know she had been caught. Bernie dragged her eyes away as her mouth began to water at the thought of what lay beneath that skirt. She met Serena’s gaze to find her eyebrow arched in disapproval but her eyes dark with desire. Their gazes stayed locked for what seemed like an eternity, before Serena nudged forward in the chair to perch on the edge.

Her fingers trailed down Bernie’s face, tracing her jawline and down her collarbone to rest against her breastbone. Serena must have been able to feel Bernie’s frantic heartbeat, her breathing ragged and unsteady. Bernie felt bereft when Serena pulled her hand away to start unbuttoning her jacket. She was teasing Bernie, her fingers moving slowly and steadily to unfasten each shiny, silver orb. Bernie could barely keep her gaze from slithering down her soft, pale skin; barely stop herself from indulging in the view she would be afforded from her current vantage point but at such close quarters Serena would surely notice. Bernie steeled herself and swallowed hard, the images in her mind’s eye making her mouth water even faster.

Serena smirked, she could see the effort etched on Bernie’s face and was enjoying her torment immeasurably. Her fingers freed the last shiny silver button and she pushed the jacket to part. Her nipples pressed hard against the stiff white fabric of her shirt and they chafed deliciously as she moved. Her fingers trailed back up her abdomen and she grazed her nails across her hard nipples. A soft moan unleashed from her lips as she did.

Bernie could hold back no longer and her eyes fell to seek out the peaks of taut flesh surrounded by large, caramel brown circles of skin. To Bernie’s eyes they are just begging to be licked and sucked, a whimper slipped past her lips as the idea flitted through her mind. She was allowed to take that train of thought no further as Serena addressed her again. “I do prefer my colleagues to look at me when I am addressing them, Inspector.” Serena’s tone firm with an undercurrent of desire rippling through it. “As you seem so keen on looking downward, perhaps you would be so kind as to assist me. I am finding myself getting rather warm and a little cooling air would be most pleasing.” Serena reached over to her desk and picked up a small, Chinese fan and offered it to Bernie.

Bernie was a little confused for a moment but duly opened it up and began to fan Serena’s face.

“Inspector. I thought I made myself clear. When I said look downward, I meant for you to fan me there also. You may need to lift my skirt further to ensure you get to where I need it most.” Bernie started pant for breath, the idea of Serena's overheating cunt making her dizzy with longing. “Please do nothing more that I have asked. It would be very inappropriate at this stage of our lesson. I would hate to have to resort to harsher disciplinary measures.” Bernie’s trembling fingers reached for the rough black fabric and slowly manoeuvred it further up Serena’s thighs. Her eyes never moved from the ever increasing expanse of exposed leg. She shifted the material clear of the lace trimmed stockings and high enough for Serena to spread her legs wide. She began to slowly fan air towards the top of Serena’s parted thighs and her superior began to squirm in her chair as she did, small pants and moans passing her lips.

The circulating air carried a heavenly scent to her nose which got stronger and stronger with each pass of the fan. Serena’s legs started to move further apart and Bernie’s tongue darted out to dampen her parched mouth, eyes widening as she felt her skin tingle with desire.

Bernie chanced a glance up to the gleaming brown eyes and saw a smile of satisfaction on Serena’s face. “Good girl.” Serena cooed. “You can follow your superior officer’s orders when given the right incentive it seems.” Serena picked the fan out of Bernie's hand and discarded it on her desk. She swivelled back to Bernie and gripped her shoulders pulling her in tight against her. Bernie shuffled forward on her knees and found her abdomen pressed firmly to Serena’s centre. Bernie could feel the fiery heat against her stomach and raw desire coiled in her belly. She began to rock lightly, the front of Serena’s chair pressing to her own mound, a thrum of pleasure rippling through her body as she did. She pulled her hands away from the rucked skirt at Serena’s hips and trailed her fingertips lightly along the top of Serena’s thigh, over the bumpy lace and down the sheer stockings before they fell to her sides.

Serena clicked her tongue in admonishment. “That was not what I asked of you, Inspector Wolfe. You were specifically told to do only as I instructed.” She sighed deeply and shook her head. “I see I am just going to have to take more extreme measures to cease this wilful, unruly behaviour.” Bernie’s breath hitched at the words and a flood of arousal soaked through her underwear, the dampness seeping into the tight denim fabric that clung to her legs.

Serena stretched her arm out behind her and retrieved one of her favourite scarves. It was full of beautiful patterns of royal blue, indigo and navy and Bernie had seen her wear it often. "Put your hands together in front of you.” Bernie hesitated for a fraction of a second. “Now, Inspector.” Bernie’s hands shot out in front of her, still trembling wildly with the racing of her heart. Her thoughts were foggy- frantic desire and the tantalising possibilities of what Serena might compel her to do driving her to the very brink of madness.

Serena slowly and carefully wrapped the silken fabric firmly around her wrists before tying it securely with two knots. The pressure of the delicate fabric bit into Bernie’s skin and it felt good, she loved giving herself over so completely to this woman; ceding total control to her commanding officer.

Bernie had never been as aroused as she was right now. She could feel the bubbling sensation at the apex of her thighs as another surge of desire pulsed through her. Her muscles twitched and her hips gave a jerky thrust against the front of Serena’s chair. Serena noticed her movement, spotted the dark lust in Bernie’s eyes. She leant back, her hips rising up closer and closer to Bernie as her hands moved down to trail patterns with her short nails against her exposed legs. Bernie saw the goose-bumps her touch elicited begin to speckle the surface. Serena started to whimper and moan and the sound drove Bernie wild. She began to rut gently as her eyes traced the journey of Serena’s fingers along the inside of her thighs and up under the edge of her skirt.

Her fingers paused and Bernie was aching to move her hands to push the hem of the skirt higher, expose more of Serena to her gaze. Almost as if Serena read her thoughts her hands pushed the material up and over her hips to reveal her nakedness to Bernie’s lustful stare. Bernie was transfixed, her eyes glued to Serena’s dark curls and glistening skin. Her breathing jerking as Serena used her left hand to spread her labia wide to her gaze. Bernie could only look on as Serena slid her right fingers softly and carefully along her opened slit gathering the velvety moisture as she did. Her moans of pleasure getting louder and louder with every movement. Bernie’s tongue slid out to wet her lips, her mouth parted, pulse jumping in her throat and she inclined her body forward to capture more of the heady scent, inhaling deeply as her eyes drifted closed.

Serena suddenly pulled her hand away and moved the dampened fingers towards Bernie’s mouth. She stroked her coated fingertips teasingly against Bernie's parted lips drawing them back before a desperate Bernie could capture them and suck them clean. An audible groan escaped as she did and Serena smiled wickedly at the sound. Instead Serena raised her hand to her own mouth and slid them inside, her tongue licking every drop from their surface. The muscles in Bernie’s jaw clenched at the sight and her eyes, still fixed on Serena's tongue sliding seductively between her fingers, turned black as night. Serena gave a hum of pleasure and withdrew her fingers from her lips with a pop. It is that sound which finally broke Bernie’s resolve and she dived down into Serena’s exposed sex, her nose nuzzling against the velvety softness of her inner thigh, biting the skin lightly before she moved her lips to graze against the soft curls.

Serena stood sharply and her skirt dropped back over her hips to shield her beautiful cunt from Bernie’s gaze. “Oh Inspector. You do disappoint me. It would seem we still have a very serious impulse control problem to manage. Perhaps we need to remove more temptation from your path.” Serena strode across to the desk behind her and picked up a black blindfold that lay atop it. She showed it to Bernie, running it through her fingers before shimmying back over towards the chair that Bernie was still knelt in front of.

As Serena came closer Bernie realised it was not a blindfold but another of her scarves. Serena allowed the fabric to run across her fingers before she brought her hand to her nose and inhaled deeply. The scent drew a glint of mischief to her eyes. She moved around behind Bernie’s bound and kneeling form, her fingertips teasingly caressed along her collarbone and shoulder leaving a tingling trail in their wake. It took all Bernie’s control to keep from turning her head to watch but she knew she would be punished. She had to obey Serena's rules. She wanted to obey Serena's rules.

As Serena slipped the silken scarf across her eyes Bernie could feel the dampness of the material against her skin. It held a familiar but unexpected scent that saturated the material. She let out a groan of desire and she could almost hear the satisfaction in Serena’s tone as she witnessed the reaction she so wanted to elicit. “You were late for our appointment Ms Wolfe. I was required to amuse myself in the interim. As you can tell, this particular scarf came in very handy helping me to achieve my objective.”

Bernie’s bound hands clenched into fists, her nails biting into her palms as she struggled not to rip the fabric to shreds, tear the blindfold from her eyes and bury her face into Serena's wetness. Her blindfolded eyes imagined the sight of Serena fucking herself frantically as she waited for Bernie to arrive. Imagined Serena's drenched cunt wiped clean with the scarf she that now covered her eyes. It was a blissful form of torture but Bernie was desperate to do as Serena asked. Desperate to please Serena however she wanted.

“Now, Inspector, let us see if you have finally learned to control yourself.” Serena was sat back in front of her again. Bernie could hear her, smell her, feel her all around her. Suddenly Serena's fingers were fisted in her hair and her head was wrenched downwards. Her face so close to Serena's heated sex that she was engulfed by the aroma. Bernie was so desperate to taste her, her mouth watered relentlessly, gulping heavily and her breaths panted in a staccato pattern.

The whoosh of Bernie’s breath against Serena's cunt drew a lewd moan from her and Bernie felt the movement of her arm as Serena resumed her earlier ministrations between her spread legs. From her blindfolded position, Bernie heard the rhythmic sound of Serena’s fingers moving in and out of her wet folds, she could smell the depth of her arousal but she remained immobile, her body still positioned exactly as Serena had wanted.

Finally Bernie's patience was rewarded. Serena's drenched fingertips lifted to Bernie's lips, velvety wetness spread liberally across them before Serena slid her fingers inside to meet Bernie's waiting tongue. Bernie couldn’t help the groan of delight that escaped at her first taste. She sucked Serena’s fingers hard, swirling her tongue around them and flicking against the tips.

A filthy moan filled the air and suddenly Serena ripped her fingers from Bernie's mouth to knot back in her hair, pulling her head down and straight into her. Her lips touch against Serena’s heated centre and Bernie began to move her mouth slowly, gently; desperate not to overstep again; desperate not to lose the taste of Serena from her lips. The tightening of Serena’s fingers against her scalp screamed of her urgent need and Bernie started to suck her folds into her mouth, savouring all of the different flavours that released onto her tongue.

Serena’s hips began to buck and Bernie could no longer keep her steady with her hands bound where they were. She pulled back and Serena’s unrelenting grip tore at her hair, the pain seeming to just add to her arousal. The pleading whimper of urgent need that Serena made almost caused Bernie herself to come, her hips rolling and writhing against the seam of her skinny jeans, urgently trying to get any friction she could. She lifted her bound arms above her head and dropped her head back down into Serena. Her still bound hands and upper arms able to control Serena’s thrashing hips as she pushed her tongue deep into Serena for the first time.

Bernie's mouth was instantly flooded with flavour, Serena’s hands fisting into her hair jerking her in and out as she thrust up to meet her. Their rhythm was jerky and erratic. It took some moments for it to settle, to find the same cadence as each other but when they found it they moved perfectly as one. Serena started to moan loudly, her hips squirmed and writhed against Bernie's strong arms, her cunt clenching tight against Bernie’s tongue as she curled it up pulling it back against the rough surface.

“Bernie, please” The desperation in Serena’s tone imploring her on was all that Bernie needed as she moved her lips up to suck Serena’s diamond hard clit into her mouth. She hummed against it, rubbing her lips across the nub, flicking her tongue over and over. Serena’s cunt spasmed hard around Bernie's tongue as she is pushed over the edge, Serena's cries of pleasure echoing around her empty office .

Bernie still held Serena’s clit lightly between her lips as the throbbing pulse slowly subsided against her tongue. Once Serena’s limbs softened and relaxed she started to tease her again. Her tongue caressing around Serena’s sensitive nerve endings, eliciting a sharp hiss when she got too close. She gradually applied more pressure, the gentle stroking of her tongue becoming more purposeful, more forceful.

“Bernie…” Serena panted. “Bernie, stop. I can’t…” Her voice fell away as her fingers reached up to grasp at Bernie's hair, to scratch at her scalp. Her hips started to roll against Bernie's mouth and the hisses turned into gasps and moans as Serena’s clit welcomed Bernie’s tongue lathing rhythmically against it. She angled her hips, reaching for Bernie’s mouth and she was so close, Bernie could feel it. The muscles in Bernie's neck and tongue ached but she would not let up, not until Serena orgasmed again.

“Fuck… Yes… Bernie fuck… fuck me… yes I’m going to...” A gutteral cry left Serena’s mouth and Bernie was drenched. A gush of Serena’s cum flooded her mouth, covering her chin and trickling down her neck, trailing between her breasts to pool against her bra strap. She gathered up as much of the glorious nectar onto her tongue as she could get before softening her touch to gently soothe Serena’s hypersensitive skin.

Finally Serena limbs ceased to twitch and jerk and she slumped broken and immobile against her chair. Bernie inclined her head to fall against Serena's lap. She needed to rest her aching muscles, her own ragged breathing tickled the fine hairs on Serena’s leg, Serena’s fingers still softly scratched at her scalp.

They stayed like that for a while until Serena lifted her weary arms to untie Bernie’s bound wrists and blindfold. Bernie squinted at the sudden, shocking flood of light that assaulted her eyes. She leant back on her haunches rotating her aching arms and wrists urging blood to flow back into them. She gazed up at Serena and grinned at her DCC’s broken form splayed out against the chair. Despite the beauty of the sight of a post-orgasm Serena, her neck muscles objected to the effort of holding her head upright and Bernie capitulated, allowing her head to fall back against the soft, pillowy flesh of Serena’s thigh. Serena’s hand reaching down to touch her hair, gently stroking and twisting curls between her fingers.

“Well Inspector.” Serena’s voice was husky and soft, her breathing not returned to normal as yet. “We are making good progress but I think we still need to explore these issues a little more fully.” Serena felt rather than saw the smile of satisfaction curl on her subordinate’s face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should be punished soundly for even imagining this, never mind putting it to paper. 
> 
> Anyone got a DCC's uniform to hand???


End file.
